Learning To Let Yourself Want...

Today was an amazing day at the Farmer's Market. There was a school field trip so there were many children there, looking at all our wares and asking wonderful questions. As an added bonus I had Marco with me today since he did not have to work. He told me it gave him better context for all the things we talk about related to the market during the week. After Market we went on my "after Market errands" together and talked about my budding business. That's when the melt down occurred.


It hit me that I truly love what I am doing, not just as a hobby but as an honest to goodness JOB! I have not felt this much passion and drive to succeed since my first few semesters as a costume student. I learn something new everyday, and I am networking and learning from a great group of local crafters. This should have been a happy realization, but as most of you know my emotional system rarely reacts in a "normal" fashion.


You see there has been a lot of uncertainty in the Lee household about where/when/how our lives should be moving forward. In January, we felt we had come up with a good plan, we took it to the Lord in prayer and then started putting plan A into motion. Then in April we got new information/ circumstances changed. So we came up with plans B and C again taking those plans to the Lord. The Meltdown was a result of realizing within myself and subsequently freaking out, that something that had been a critical component in Plan A, had carried little consideration in the creation of Plans B and C...My Business.


When I said yes to my husband on our wedding day, I promised to honor him, follow him, and help him in all the righteous desires of his heart. So when a critical paradigm shift presented itself this past spring, I did what any good spouse would do and helped develop the new plan, seemingly content in the knowledge that I would enjoy my time at the market while it lasted (I would have to leave halfway through the season), and not even acknowledging that the winter selling season would not happen. I also forgot that someone else had made promises to honor, love, and help. Luckily he did not.

Everything hit me and I expressed through my tears that I felt cheated. That I felt the time for my education time had been sliced by nearly 10 months and I was being pulled out of my cocoon too fast and if I left now, I was afraid that I would not have a solid foundation when we went elsewhere. Then, my sweet, wonderful husband asked a question very like the one that had led me to this path in the first place "Sweetheart, what do you want" This question was one I rarely consider when making decisions, I am generally more concerned with the desires of my loved ones (I've been told it is something I need to work on). 

Through my tears, I told him of my desire to learn as much as I could from my network in the North Country, to have an opportunity to sell a full season so that I knew what I was doing when we got out of the Army and could work to support him while he was in school without having to return to entry level wage work. After listening to me blubber about how this desire screwed up everything about plan B and C and berate myself for being so selfish (that last point earned me a reproach for bashing on his wife:), he calmly held me and told me that my desires we righteous ones and that God was always waiting for us to share those desires with Him. And then when I questioned what, in my mind, was a sure thing; he reminded me of Nephi and how he knew that God was stronger than Laban and all of his men and that if God felt my desires were meant to be fulfilled no power on this earth could stop them. 

I've spent  the rest of the evening regaining my composure and reflecting on the day. Now it is time to pray again and find plan D. Please pray with me my friends. I don't want to bury this passion again and I know God has a plan for me to keep it, I just need to find out what it is.

I'm BAAAACK!

Hey everybody, remember a couple years ago when I was all gung ho about starting a website and then....crickets! Yeah, It has been a crazy couple of years. Marco is getting ready to transition out of the Army, I've shed my medieval pseudonym as far as business goes, oh and this happened...

My Booth at the Local Farmers Market

 That's right folks. I finally did it! I have an honest to goodness store front to sell my all the wonderful, beautiful things that I love to create. I also have taken the plunge into "professional" blogging, and have 2 new homes on the internet for those who are interested.

The first one is the obligatory business promotion Blog: The Rainbow Seamstress is the place you will find tutorials, process pictures, and finished projects that tell the world just how awesome Rachel Lee is (off course all the crazy mishaps and existential crises will stay safely on this blog with all my other adventures lol).

The second blog is one of those special interest blogs that I never thought I'd do but am truly looking forward to. Pretty Natural Nails is a blog dedicated to those of us who enjoy keeping our natural nails strong, beautiful, short/long and 100% real. It will include pictures of my weekly self done manicures and hopefully in the future product reviews, tutorials and nail photos from other readers.

So that's what I've been up to. looks like it will be an exciting Summer.